Kinda Makes You Wonder

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Todd: "A funeral?!  Like with a dead person?" Pete: "Naturally.  Funerals for the living are called weddings."

I don’t have an attitude problem, Jerk.

If he only had a brain...

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Pride is what we have.  Vanity is what others have.

Life is short.  Break some rules!

The older I get, the less I appreciate gravity.

We have enough youth – How about a fountain of smart?

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this Bull before!

Reality bites, and I have the teeth marks to prove it.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Errors have been made.  Others are to blame.

I found myself with help from a guy at a gas station.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

Cats regard people as warm blooded furniture.

I’m only wearing black until they make something darker.

Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow.

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

Dogs think they are human.  Cats believe they are God.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window.